Wednesday, July 29, 2009
THE TWO CHOICE (Life or Death)
One of the most common questions spiritual seekers ask is:
“When I listen to the satsang videos I feel clear but the moment something negative happens I am back to square one. How can I keep stable in my awareness of the Truth?”
You are a human being and therefore convinced that you are living in duality. Since the human and the Being are opposites in values and interpretation of life we get ‘caught’ in a quandary between the two. Thus, there seem to be two choices. The human choice is so conditioned that before we even have a chance to see what is happening, out of habit and familiarity, we keep choosing it unconsciously. To top it all, we are also convinced unconsciously (and might not want to admit it) that we are this human part more than the Being part.
In Truth, there aren’t two separate parts of us but only Being. It is like looking at ourselves in a mirror and believing that we are that reflection rather than the One looking into it. In other words, we have identified with the human so much that whether it is real is not even ever challenged. The human is only a reflection of Being that has taken on the characteristics of the conditioned mind.
The Conditioned Mind
The conditioned mind is so-called because it is the product of our induction into the physical life. Our parents brought us with values inherited from their parents, schooled and educated in their limited tradition, nationality and religion plus whatever values of their inner life according to the ways in which their inner life was viewed. This is not wrong but simply a conditioned viewpoint like hypnosis. Hypnosis refers to the unconscious values that lie unchallenged (unquestioned) in our subconscious mind. We are hypnotized in their belief. Beliefs are NOT reality because they can be shaken whereas Truth cannot be shaken. Here are some belief systems and their result -- Muslims believe that anyone outside their belief-system is an infidel. Christians believe that theirs is the truth yet both religions have created great division from Oneness. Besides these limiting beliefs, we are conditioned by cultural differences that have caused wars and inhuman cruelty. What is being said here is this – we are not criticizing beliefs per se but saying that anything that separates us from Oneness takes us away from Oneness.
You are NOT this conditioning
If you have traveled the world then you have broadened your mind enough to see how each culture in the world holds different value systems. They are conditioned values that narrow our view of our Being nature. We do not reject these values but expand them to include even opposing beliefs.
When you start awakening to your true Being nature you start seeing how limited your conditioning is and it is both shocking and frightening. It is shocking because we never challenged our values before we started seeking a broader perspective, and frightening because we see that we are NOT who we thought we were at all. Yet something intuitive inside us (our Being) beckons us to follow this broader path and when we listen to satsang videos we resonate with this Truth since it is already known by our Being nature. However, the familiarity of our conditioning will draw us back, almost instantly, the moment we forget what we just heard at satsang.
Ego is conditioned suffering
It is these conditioned beliefs that create the back-and-forth swing from stabilizing into Truth of Being. This back and forth between human and Being will continue until we are ready to commit our human values to forgiveness. The word ‘forgiveness’ is a term abhorrent to the ego. Once we start recognizing the truth about forgiveness, we will see that it takes much less energy to forgive than to indulge in our lower values.
When we indulge in self-defense of our ego system of thinking we suffer. Yet this suffering is so familiar to us that we might prefer it to Being at the moment of being hurt. For instance, suppose in childhood you did not experience much warmth and approval, then as an adult you feel a deep gnawing lack inside you. This lack or low self-worth had become so much a part of your value system (habit of thinking) that even your self-image has become hypnotized into your viewpoint of life and self.
Ego creates unconscious guilt
This self-image of lack (separation from Oneness) which we have taken to be who we are creates an unconscious guilt that seeks self-punishment because it doesn’t deserve love. Love, being Oneness itself, does not reside on the level of our immediate awareness and that’s why it is called unconscious guilt. It is an itch that can’t be scratched and so whenever we are confronted by some lack either in communication or thinking, we react without realizing the extent of that reaction.
Our reactions from resentment to violence are triggered by this unconscious guilt image of ourselves. It resides as a frozen center within us. We often ‘lose it’ emotionally and even become violent and bitchy. However again, because it is so familiar to us and because we feel we deserve punishment we hold-on to this melodrama rather than forgive it. Somehow this melodrama justifies our value system of who we believe we are.
Spiritual seeking as an escape
Now here’s another devious way of conditioning called ‘spiritual distraction.’ Spiritual distraction’ among seekers is so common that it escapes awareness entirely. For an example of spiritual distraction – Mary has now become totally well-versed in the words of spirituality namely the terms ‘Oneness’ or ‘egolessness’ or ‘pure awareness’ or Truth and believes she knows the Truth. This distraction is a common strategy of the conditioned human not to look at its own escapes from Truth. It is a way to pat itself on the back as being spiritual while still indulging in self-defensive tactics and ego thinking. When it sees that it is getting caught then it feels guilty rather than inquire “who is it that is feeling guilty?” In other words, these escapes from truth are so common that the simple knowing of forgiveness, commitment to truth and abiding as the Truth are elusive and avoided.
Tug-of-war between human & Being
Our life becomes a tug-of-war between human and Being. At this point we keep choosing ‘death’ rather than Life. This appears to be so because at this ‘stage’ there seems to be two choices (which in Truth do not exist at all). We are actually choosing death every time we indulge in ego rather than Life.
It is all a choice between Life or Death
Why is it called ‘death’? Death is that which kills the spirit in us. It makes us heavy, tense, stressed out, mentally tired, bored, doubtful, guilty, fearful and incredibly frightened of the future.
On the other hand we have Life. Life is radiance, aliveness, Nowness, ISness, Truth, happiness, forgiveness and allowing with full acceptance. Life is innocent and does not dwell on the idea of sin, wrong or that which is not-good. In fact…
True Life is so innocent that it can be likened to a child or kitten and puppy in their innocence. This ‘Life’ value system doesn’t see wrong or sin but love everywhere.
So initially the spiritual seeker is torn between life and death. Again, why do we call it Life and Death? The terms are so appropriate that they hit the mark just by seeing the words. The ego believes in death and in fact he/she is frightened of dying and won’t even think about it. The innocent Life, on the other hand, loves Life so much that death is not frightening simply because there is no death ever. The innocent can see this clearly that death happens only to the individual and there isn’t one.
How do we forgive ‘death-thinking?’
How do we forgive death-thinking? Forgiveness is also known as quantum forgiveness which means that there is no action taken to forgive. Forgiveness (fore-giveness) is giving forth the belief in death to allow Life to take its place with no ‘buts’ ‘what-ifs’ or any holding on to death.
Death is that which has an end to it; it deteriorates, it hides, it fears, it destroys itself, it rots and finally disappears or gets lost in darkness.
Life, on the other hand, sees clearly through its innocence that such limitation are only the creation of the ego-mind.
Forgiveness is seeing that there is nothing to forgive simply because death is an ego-creation.
Life is ever flowing and has no beginning or end. It is our true Home. Jesus called it “The Kingdom of God.” It is all that is beautiful, pure, innocent, loving, open, trusting, unworldly and joyous. Life is eternal and knows no limitations, no boundaries and has infinite possibilities. It looks at everyone with pure innocent love and trust and even though it sees the world of darkness and death it is still untouched without denying its illusory existence.
Innocence does not deny this illusory world of pain but looks beyond it.
So, how does one forgive?
Let’s take it step-by-step -- say that your conditioned self is confronted with a challenge whether it is financial, work-related, relationship-related or self-related.
The immediate response of the ego-self is worry, anger, irritation, rage or depression and escape. This immediate response is immediately seen for what it is and that’s the first step. In our conditioned human state, death always speaks first.
Once we become aware of this ‘death’ experience we acknowledge how the body is experiencing that death through churning stomach, heart palpitations, maybe hot and cold shivers, trembling, heat building up to a pitch as if ready to explode in violence or anger or simply holding-it-in and becomes depression or apathy or indifference (all different forms of death).
Now having become aware of this ‘death’ feeling experienced as sensation in the body, simply acknowledge it to yourself and allow yourself to see your reaction and how you indulge in it. This is something you can do if you have understood the two choices of human and Being.
Fourth and final step:
At this point there’s not much you can do but sit down for a moment, take a few deep breaths and say, “I choose Life because I am Life and it is forgiven.” Then go in front of a mirror and reflect this Life in your face. The face of death is morose, sunken, heavy and avoids direct eye-contact. The face of Life, on the other hand, is willing to smile and even brighten the eyes. This becomes fore-giveness and it alters the conditioned aspects of death into Life. When we awaken fully then it is simply that we keep choosing Life and not death. It is a choice between Truth and falsehood. It is this simple, and there is no ‘doing’ per se but an awareness of love and giving forth that love.
What would be the results of this ‘practice’?
This might not alter your sensations of fear and pain but having gone through the steps with sincerity you have actually erased any future karmic consequences from your emotional trigger (which inevitably follow when no awareness is allowed). As you continue asking the Holy Spirit (“I AM” essence of you) for help then this ‘practice’ becomes a fast way to inner freedom.
The gradual transformation from worldly harshness and crudeness to innocence and sweetness is a joy to behold.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
“I have read that Ramana Maharshi advocated using the mind to go beyond it. Also ‘A Course n Miracles’ is a Course in mind training which brings one to the clarity of non-duality. Can you explain to me how this works?”
This ‘method’ is called ‘Inquiry.’ It has been used by the Masters such as Bhagavan, Byron Katie, “A Course in Miracles” through its workbook and effective satsang teachers. It is the most direct and ego-transcending method of all. It takes both willingness and an open heart to apply it. If you have this drive for what is real then inquiry is the way to go.
Before we get to know what is inquiry and how to apply it there are three things to understand first.
First -- All ego seeking and emotional pain are made up of questions. The term ‘question’ means a quest. It is a need from the hungry human to find its way back Home to Essence. Most people do not know that all emotional pain and including seeking spiritual awakening are the ‘living-questions’ of the soul for its redemption.
Questions have different stages of ‘growth’ and move from the ego-me to the deeper aspects of us and finally to Oneness. For example, the initial stage of the seeking novice is something like this, “Why me?”
“People do not like me!”
“It seems the world is against me.”
“People do not listen to me.”
“I feel misunderstood.”
Then with greater maturity and understanding the questions move to ‘us.’ Here are some of them…
“Why are people so dense?”
“The world seems closed to the spiritual life.”
“Why do religions divide themselves instead of unite?”
“How can I help the world?”
“Why do bad things happen to good people?”
Finally with greater seeing, sensitivity and maturity the questions move into Oneness or the Whole. Here are some…
“If there is no doer then who is it that acts through me?”
“I am not clear about linear time and holographic timelessness?”
“I feel clear at times but still find myself losing what I know!”
“I have had glimpses but I still do not live the life!”
“I realized that my knowledge of spiritual reality was a distraction to make me feel good about myself and that’s why I never felt really pure!”
How to apply inquiry
Second -- The way to inquiry is simple but it requires some form of earnestness to conduct it. For instance, let’s say you find yourself reacting to some statement or to some thought. In that instant write down or express in a digital recorder what you are really asking. For instance, someone says you are being dumb and you react to that statement with anger, offence, defense, outrage, hurt and so on. This reaction happened NOT because of what was said since we are never upset for the reason we think. The statement felt like a threat that must have reminded us of some personal lack (as a child for example.) Maybe you felt misunderstood or ignored or less-than and that term ‘dumb’ triggered that memory and feeling. Therefore you are asking a question in your subconscious mind such as, “What is wrong with me?” “Maybe I don’t feel good enough?” or “I probably feel so separate from others!”
The point is this – that all emotional reactions are unresolved questions…
Anxiety is a question asking, “I wonder what’s going to happen next?” “What if I don’t make it?” “What if I fail?” “What if people laugh at me?”
Fear is a question with a “what-if…” in it. Most fears are future-oriented.
Sudden anger reaction is a question that is seeing a threat to the ego and reacting in defense of itself without knowing what or whom it is defending.
Deep disappointment is a question dealing with expectations of an ego boost nature. “How could I be so wrong about that person?”
Suffice to say that all emotional pain, melodrama, hurt, depression and including indifference and apathy are unresolved questions.
Third -- The next step, once we have acquired the skill to formulate the question is to understand the question itself. Here’s is the most important part of inquiry – do not reach for an answer!! All answers come from the conditioned mind and are merely words that mean very little. The true answers have no words but a deep feeling of inner knowing and satisfaction. Therefore it is imperative that we do not seek an answer to the question but to keep it open.
I remember reading my first book on inquiry from Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi who advocated asking, “Who am I?” and I must have asked it several hundred times and never received an answer. However I kept it up throughout the years waiting for grace to descend upon me with an answer. One day it dawned on me that the answer was given from the heart the first time I asked it but I didn’t hear it because I wasn’t ready to listen.
What was the answer that I didn’t hear? It was the Silence that emerged from asking, the deep space of unknowing of who I was simply because I was far greater than words could tell, and besides, if the answer came in words who would give it - It would have been my ego or conditioned memory from reading so much. It was the silent peaceful ‘not-knowing’ that unfolded the mystery of my inner knowing.
The question now is, “If I don’t get an answer, how do I listen?”
Listening is what all awakening is about. People do not ‘get it’ or ‘awaken’ or feel at peace is because they do not LISTEN! They hear the words; they intellectualize the words; they know the answers to questions but there is no inner clarity because one hasn’t gone beyond the thinking mind. As long as you are thinking about a truth you cannot know it. You will only ‘know’ the words about it, not ‘IT!’
The Truth is Oneness or how every human is a wave from the One ocean of Life. Yet, the wave is one with the ocean. This ocean is One and therefore known as LOVE.
Love is not emotional except in its initial understanding. Love is seeing another in oneself. Love is ‘knowing’ that there is no separation in anything – everything is interconnected, interdependent and interrelated. If I judge you I am judging myself. If I hurt you I hurt myself and this boomerang is known as guilt.
Boomerang is that which always returns to us what we give out. What we give returns to us. If we give love, we get love. If we give resentment, judgment or fear then we get it back in the form of guilt. Guilt is always present initially as unconscious-discomfort as if missing something or feeling a lack without knowing what it actually IS! Guilt is the result of feeling separate and thus incomplete. Guilt is what causes all loneliness, fear, unrest, hatred, separation and distorted thinking. Guilt always seeks self-punishment known as self-sabotage.
Therefore LISTENING is this…
The major point of inquiry is to NEVER seek an answer as there are no satisfying answers to life. There is only the clarity that awakens when we understand fully the question we are really asking.
Listening is ‘understanding-the-question’ that your heart is asking deep down within you. This asking is a seeking, and a seeking is always in the form of pain or discomfort. Thus, if you are troubled, confused, uncertain, perplexed, frustrated then do not attempt to figure it out; avoid all intellectual attempts at trying to understand it. Do these steps…
a. Write down the question you are really asking. Keep it simple.
b. Understand the question by its emotional feeling.
c. Look at the story created by that question and its reactions.
d. What is it that you’re telling yourself?
e. How will it be if there was no such story in you?
f. Are you willing to forgive it?
g. If not, why is it essential to hold on to it? (what are you hoping to gain from holding on?)
(Would I rather be right or happy?)
These questions will uncover what is truly eating at you and releases deep unconscious guilt and awaken clarity.
Why do we get negative? Negative feelings are human feelings and they emerge from feeling a lack in you (result of separation). ‘Negatives’ are the soul seeking redemption (answers).
The real answers are NOT words (verbal or written) but the feeling of joy and love in the heart.
The way to clarity (awakening) is inquiry (listening). To inquire (investigate or explore) is to put a thought or a story up against questions such as given on this page 5.
Inquiry is to end confusion and experience inner peace, love, joy and innocence, even in a world torn by worldly values and chaos. Above all else, inquiry is about realizing that all true answers we ever need are always available inside us (in our Being).
See the video clip “Awakening Insights’ found in this link…
Inquire is not just a technique: it brings to life, from deep within us, an innate aspect of our Being. When practiced for a while, inquiry takes on its own life within you. It becomes alive in you. It appears wherever thoughts appear. This partnership with the Holy Spirit in you (which is the ‘I AM’) awakens in you to abide fulltime. This partnership leaves you free to live as a kind, fluid, fearless, amused listener…joyful partner. In this partnership loneliness, desolation, separation become an unknown quantity, a realized unreality that only existed in unconsciousness.
Your inner guide is your best friend forever that can be trusted, relied upon in an emergency and experienced as a way of life bringing fullness of Being. Peace and joy inevitably make their way into every corner of your mind, into every relationship and experience. The process is so subtle that you may not even have a conscious awareness of it. You just know such happiness now that you wonder how you could have lived before without your real partner.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
"You mention the word 'awakening' often, can you explain what you mean by it, are you referring to enlightenment?"
The word 'waking up' is meant literally waking up by choosing life instead of death. Most people believe they are just a body and identify with thoughts and emotions as reality, that's unconscious living and a form of death. Waking up is seeing that you have infinite possibilities because you are a human being. There are literally no boundaries to you. Being is the sky and the human are the clouds. When the clouds cover up the sky's light and darkness descends then the Being becomes clouded over and forgotten.
Clouds come and go but the sky is ever present and its Light is never dimmed despite the clouds. Thus it is a matter of identification. When the day seems cloudy and dark isn't that merely the covering of the Light that is always present? We have the choice to identify with the Light that is always the case rather than with the temporary clouds.
You are a Human Being. Through the understanding of both these aspects we wake up through choice. Let's see how each affects us.
The Human is a seeker and it is always seeking a better life for itself. It believes it is individual and separate because it identifies with the body as its reality. Therefore it has FOUR strong drives which are the culprits for much suffering.
These FOUR DRIVES are...
1. The drive for control.
The need to have one's way based on one's view of life. This is also the need to be right at all costs to assert its individuality and gets hurt if this is not so.
2. The drive for security.
This is a strong need especially among more emotional people. This drive for emotional security automatically brings the fear of insecurity which haunts one's life.
3. The drive for approval.
This need for approval is also the need to be accepted, recognized, respected and looked-up-to. This applies to both the emotional and the intellectual. When there is no approval then one suffers low self-esteem and equates this to low self-worth.
4. The drive for separation.
This is a strong one even among spiritual seekers who supposedly seek Oneness. This is the need for feeling special, better-than, important or stand-out and feel different. This creates loneliness feelings and moments of negative emptiness.
The question is this -- why is there such opposition between Human and Being? This duality is part of creation. Creation cannot happen without opposites. For instance, to have an 'up' there must be a 'down.' To have 'white' we must have 'black.' To have 'front' we must have a 'back.' Similarly with emotions. Emotions are thoughts that are believed to be real and become strong beliefs. Thus since our true nature is love (Oneness) then we seek it 'outside' ourselves to join, to belong, to possess, to have, to own and so on. This need creates the fear of not having enough or being enough. So, with love comes fear in the human expression. When we love someone we start feeling the fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough and fear of abandonment. Since this fear often takes over while having the drive for being right then we create self-sabotage of the very things we want. This is called human suffering -- self-betrayal or choosing darkness instead of Light. We see the clouds instead of the ever-present Light of the sun.
The next question is -- when we seek the need for control, approval, security and separation, what is making us seek these things? Believe it or not, it is our Being nature which IS the very things we seek. In other words, we are seeking what we already are but don't know it. It is this 'knowing' that will bring awakening to our true nature.
What is our Being like? Being is our true nature. However, Being is not personal and that's the crux of the matter. There are over 6 billion humans on this earth but there is only One Being...that One Being is YOU! Please read this again and again until you feel its incredible impact because by itself it can bring awakening!
You are a Being playing the human role!!
So, what is Being? Let me put it this way -- do you like going on vacation? Why? Isn't it because you love to relax, be free, happy and enjoy yourself. And, what is it in you that wants this? My dear friend, it is your very Being that is this relaxation and aliveness itself. We can FEEL this as who we are but since it happens through the FOUR HUMAN DRIVES we equate it with a need instead of who we ALREADY are! Please read this again.
'Being' is 'BE-ing' -- it is to be happy, comfortable, relaxed, alive, spontaneous, creative, energetic, enthusiastic, joyous and fulfilled. The reason we want these things is because we do not recognize them as qualities already inside us, we believe they need to be attained and so we seek them and thus destroy them.
When we seek what we already are believing it is something to be attained then we automatically block it from immediate expression. This seeking becomes our lust for the world making the world real in our mind. The human believes that the world is real instead of a dream of the mind. When the Being expresses itself through acceptance of its true nature then one sees clearly that the world cannot be real. Physicists know that matter is energy and only appears solid to our senses.
Every time we choose the human part of us, which means we choose unconsciously by identifying and indulging in our negative thoughts and emotions we die a little. Therefore we keep choosing death instead of life. Now listen to this great simple truth -- it takes more effort and stress to be unconscious and suffer then to choose consciously our true nature. It all comes down to this choice -- if we don't choose aliveness then we are unconsciously choosing death.
The unawakened human believes in death and, in fact, so much so that it frightens them to even think that they will soon die physically. Human life is fragile at best and its life-span is so short yet it hides from even seeing the physical for what it truly is. The awakened knows, beyond any doubt, that death is impossible because Being (who you really are) cannot die because it was never born. Being JUST IS!! Being is Oneness. Some seekers ask, "How do I realize Oneness? Oneness is not attained or 'realized' but seen when we are devoted to the Truth of our Being nature. Being is Truth -- Truth means that you are eternal, ever-alive and always YOU!! Jesus said, "The greatest mystery is how Christ lives in each heart." We are NOT separate individuals but One in Spirit. The moment we ALLOW ourselves to see this fact the we are awake. Wakefulness is like waking up from a nightmare and then rubbing your eyes and saying, "WOW! It was just a dream!"
Waking up is seeing the infinite possibilities of your true Being nature. It is the knowing that there are no boundaries toBeing. You are glorious and boundless and to even feel this minutely is to fill you with gratitude and joy. This is who you are RIGHT NOW!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The Transforming Power of Forgiveness
I get an average of 40 email questions a day regarding the spiritual life. Most questions of “why” or “how’ indicate the need to escape from facing the truth of what-is happening. Looking at what-is, is the fastest way to understand by looking at it directly. Thus, trying to figure out “why” or “how’ are ego ways to avoid looking directly. This escape is a ‘natural’ act of the ego which exacerbates the problems.
The most powerful solution to daily conflicts, problems, misunderstandings, and negativity is forgiveness.
The word ‘forgiveness’ is reviled by the ego and respected by the heart. Thus from the emails I get there seem to be two problems about forgiveness. First is the fear of forgiveness because of the ego’s need to retaliate or validate one’s suffering.
Second is the mind’s inability to understand how to forgive or what is implied by it.
Our lifetime script is already determined with its ‘highs’ and ‘lows’ plus ‘accidents.’ This script is not set in stone unless the human ignores forgiving, then what was determined happens on ‘schedule.’
Before we get into the secret of forgiveness let’s see some of the transforming power of it. Forgiveness actually collapses time in our favor so that any karmic consequence due us such as an ‘accident’ or painful experience is bypassed.
To understand this karmic life there has to be the mental grasp of what is called ‘Unconscious Guilt.’ This unconscious guilt is a discomfort most people live with believing it is the way life is. They go about life feeling this inner discomfort and try to find either a reason for it or try to get rid of it. Nothing works because guilt is not something you can put your finger on. It is like having a pebble in your shoe and any attempt to remove it fails since you can’t find the pebble. So, you learn to live with it.
What is this unconscious guilt?
It is unconscious because it is deeply set within the psyche. It is known as ‘guilt’ because it carries with it feelings of separation and the need to be important, to be special or to stand out and be noticed. Within its needs lies a feeling of ‘not being good enough’ combined with the subtle feeling that you are missing something or lacking something. At times it even feels as if you are ‘bad.’ These feelings everyone has regardless of station in life and it is unconscious so that it nags you without knowing what it is.
This unconscious guilt is so heinous that it leads often to suicide when it is kept frozen inside us. Most people know about suicide but they have no idea how widespread it is. In the book “Your Immortal Reality” it points out that more people die from suicide than are killed by all the wars and all of the crime in the world combined. More firefighters die from suicide than are killed in fires. Policemen also suffer from this unconscious guilt and many die from suicide. Nobody wants to talk about it because the feeling of ‘guilt’ is so close to us. Depression in all its forms is derived from unconscious guilt. The ego runs away from looking at it as fast as possible.
What creates this unconscious guilt? The reason is simple enough. From the time we are 3 years old we start feeling and believing that we are our name and body and thus, unconsciously, create the feeling we are separate. We have totally forgotten that we are One Being or Oneness itself. And, it is this very estrangement from this fact that allows the unconscious guilt to make its way into our life. This guilt-feeling carries with it self-consciousness, ego pretension, and the need for love (power or approval.), the need to be heard, seen, noticed and recognized. This need for ego recognition comprises the emotional and psychological suffering of humanity.
What is ego?
It is the belief that you are a body and therefore separate from others. Therefore ego is what creates unconscious guilt feeling. Most people live a whole lifetime believing they are this ego and never even question it. Such people can never find true peace and inner security and contentment.
Forgiveness helps us in two ways. First it keeps the guilty feeling out of the picture, and while doing so, moves us closer to our true nature. Every forgiveness of discomfort enhances our oneness knowing.
Forgiveness cuts through unconscious guilt and its projection of karma like a laser beam. It penetrates through all of your past lives and even future lives, through the different dimensions of time.
How do we forgive?
First of all, it is hard to forgive unless you know that you are NOT an ego. All worthwhile spiritual literature carries this basic theme – ego is the false self. Ego is the self-made image from conditioned past believing it is ‘YOU.’
Ego wants to hang on to pain and hates to forgive. In fact, ego will want to retaliate, seek revenge and get even in any way it can. Thus it creates karma of a serious nature in one’s life. Ego belief is also written within your life-script. Thus the script contains the tragedies, mishaps, accidents and awful experiences that stem from the belief in ego.
So, one primary ingredient for forgiveness is knowing who you are. It is not difficult if you pay close attention to the following question.
Ask yourself right now, “Do you know yourself?” and then pause for a moment before answering. This pause will give you an opening to LISTEN through your Heart.
Good – now that you have asked it and paused for a moment, what was your answer? Don’t read further until you have answered it.
The Heart replies:
“You are the knower of your body, senses and mind. You know that you have a body and mind. However, this knower can never be known, because you are it and there is nobody to know it. It can never become an object of observation because it is totality, wholeness, Oneness itself.”
This is who you are – the knower! You are NOT the body, senses, mind nor thoughts and emotions. In fact, these emotions, thoughts (mind) and body appear only because there is ‘YOU.’ You are NOT an ego but the knower.
Pause and feel what you have just read because only through this process can you grasp the power and ease of forgiveness. And, forgiveness will take you all the way Home. Every time you forgive your guilt, you move one step closer to your true Home of Oneness. Oneness is like peeling an onion. You might not notice the depth of the peeling because it looks like the same onion; however within every peel you’ll be moving closer to the center called Home with each peeling (forgiveness).
Understanding Cause and Effect
How do I forgive? You learn how forgiveness works as you recognize that you are not an Effect of a major Cause (Oneness); You are the Cause itself. It is you, the Cause, which predetermined your life’s script. It is You who created the life you live. You cannot be an Effect because then you’d be like a victim. Since most people feel that they are effects of the Source (Cause) then they play victims in life and bemoan their lot. Through forgiveness, seeing expands and reveals (ever deepening) that you can override the pre-determined script by forgiving (what you normally would not have forgiven) and thus transcend the karmic consequences that might have been due you. In other words, forgiveness collapses time as we know linear time. Time doesn’t exist except in our linear thinking. All physicists agree that past, present and future happen simultaneously because we live in a holographic universe. It is from this understanding that forgiveness becomes a natural process.
If someone maligns us or takes advantage of our position we see that we created that so-called individual in our life script. By forgiving him or her we rise above the consequences of such unforgiveness and thus retain our peace and make the path free from obstruction.
Therefore seeing that this ‘other’ created a ‘problem’ for you, you in turn see no problem only something you created in your life script leading you toward forgiveness. In other words, we learn by forgiving both ‘others’ and ourselves in seeing that there’s nothing to forgive.
The Ultimate Truth
In brief – the ultimate truth of our Being is what threatens and frightens the ego. If you are a novice to the spiritual life you will find yourself, automatically, asking many questions filled with ‘but, but…” or “what-if…” plus filled with ‘why’ and ‘how’ questions. This is natural until we start becoming familiar with what truly IS the Truth of our Being. The Truth is what is true and to escape it, ignore it or deny it is our unconscious guilt.
The paradox is that the Truth of our Being is so glorious, wholesome and beautiful that initially we haven’t the slightest idea of this grandeur.
All we see at first is the threat to our ego and that’s because of the unconscious guilt of separation-thinking.
The ultimate truth is this – this daily life is all a dream and the only way to wake up from this dream is to forgive it. Why!? It is you who made it up with the egoic belief in separation from the Oneness. You are NOT an effect of Source but Source itself -- this is what Oneness means. All is One Source and YOU are IT! We live in a holographic universe and not linear time.
Forgiveness is ‘seeing’ the Truth as what-is and can’t be denied, suppressed, rejected, resisted or controlled. This seeing-clearly is itself quantum forgiveness and it undoes the ego. Once the ego is seen as false and therefore non-existent then we are free and at Home.
Is forgiveness the only way to undo the ego and transcend our unconscious guilt?
Forgiveness has also been taught as acceptance, allowing, letting go and surrender. However forgiveness is more direct in its meaning. It is a way of SEEING the truth of NOW as what truly is! It is seeing that you are not really forgiving anyone for we create the ‘other’ in our unawareness of Oneness. What ‘others’ do to us is what we have asked for in our separate-thinking activated by unconscious guilt. Therefore forgiveness is knowing that there’s nothing to forgive. It is this ‘knowing’ alone that will help us rise above the false idea of ego and find the glorious truth of our Being.
Are there levels to understanding forgiveness?
Ordinarily I would say ‘no’ because it is a feeling-knowing of the heart that there’s nothing to forgive since only Spirit is real and everything else is its effect. However, for understanding its deeper aspects we can divide the comprehension of forgiveness on three levels.
1. The Face in the Mirror: This first level is for those who still believe they are an ego and live in separation thus forgiveness seems like an effort and something to ‘do’.
Picture looking into the mirror and look at the face in front of you in the mirror. Ask yourself, “Is that who I am or is it just a reflection?” “If I shave, do I shave the mirror’s face? If I crack the mirror with my reflection do I crack my face also?” Since both questions are ‘no’ then a reflection is just a reflection and has nothing to do with the truth. Make sure that you fully see the import of this obvious presentation.
If this example felt obvious to you then go to level #2 below.
2. Thoughts and emotions: This is slightly more advanced and if when under stress or anger you still don’t want to forgive then you are on this level. You have made the thoughts and emotions so real that you are caught in them and wish to hold on to them despite the pain and suffering. However, it is still a step closer than #1 because even though you might not want to forgive, you can still go through the motion of forgiving that you’re not wanting to forgive.
When we think and indulge in thought we become the thinker of that thought (ego). Similarly when we identify with an emotion (which is thought made real) we get caught in it and suffer to that extent. This also means that when you identify with an emotion you go unconscious and may lose control because you are deluded. If during this unconsciousness you ask, “Where is this emotion right now?” it would be like awakening from a dream and you won’t find the emotion anywhere. Look deeply for it and you won’t find it except as a residue from its physical sensation. If this question has been raised by you and you succeeded in seeing that there was no such thought or emotion, then you are ready for #3 below.
3. Am I the body? Be still and look at your body and ask if you are this body. Twenty years ago you weren’t this body and neither when you were a teenager or a baby.
Ask, “Who is it that says I have this body?” It couldn’t be the body who says that? What part of you says, “I have!” Where is that “I” and the knower that knows you have a body and thoughts and emotions? Can you name it? Can you taste it or touch it? Can you see it or feel it? Of course not, simply because it is YOU.
How can YOU see yourself? Can the eyes see themselves? Can the lips kiss themselves? You can’t know it but yet you know it’s there. It is this unknown in YOU which is the Truth of you. This is your Cause, your oneness, the Truth. It is the connection with ALL-That IS!
This is the AWARE part of you that witnesses your actions, thoughts, emotions and feelings. It is the YOU that is eternal and unchanging. It is the YOU that is innocent, guiltless, complete and wholesome.
If you have understood this, then you understand forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a ‘doing’ but the understanding that there’s nothing to forgive because whatever you experience is Oneness experiencing and therefore cannot blame, judge or pay back anyone without suffering the brand of it. This is why what goes around comes around. This is why karmic action is infallible. This is why that how we are treated by ‘others’ is our projection. Believe it or not, it is our auric field and thought power (belief) that creates others to treat us in such a way that we do not like. Therefore you do not forgive yourself or another – you see clearly there’s nothing to forgive and it’s done and cleared from its karmic consequences.
Through this quantum forgiveness you erase all consequences from your past actions and beliefs and even clean out any future consequences. This type of forgiveness is so powerful that it collapses time as we know it so that any karma that was due us will be erased. More importantly, it will create such intuitive knowing that knowing our Oneness becomes automatic love and connection.
Please Note: The following has been added after I received a sweet honest question from a young man (which also reflected others who read the above…
I don't want to ask how to forgive because it said in one of your PDF's that the question is asked to avoid forgiveness, but it would be helpful if you could explain how I use the question to put it off. The difficulty is that your words may be very plain but If I'm unconsciously rejecting the truth it may not all get to me.. what a pickle.
It has been said that the ego is at best suspicious and avoiding (denial) and at worst is vicious and destructive. Most of the time when we ask, “Why?” is because we want to delay facing the truth of our Being nature. It was Alan Watts who said (over forty years ago) that when we say, “I don’t feel it” or “I am waiting to realize it” is a delaying tactic of the ego NOT to feel it and thus not have to face it.
This is understandable from the human point of view, after all, we have been conditioned to believe the world and body are real and our spiritual nature is something that we learn in religion and is not practical or ‘down-to-earth’ enough to bother with. How often we say, “Let’s get back to reality” meaning daily life as we know it.
It took me many years to see something quite simple – either it is true or it isn’t! If Spirit is our true nature and our senses do not perceive it aren’t we creating delusion, suffering and separation from what is real? What if we have deeper insightful senses that can be awakened if we just LISTEN? What if we allow the possibility of an open heart here and now to check who is doing the LIFE we are?
The question, “How do I use ‘why’ to put it off?” is a legitimate question. Have you ever been in an accident that left you temporarily helpless and said, “Why me?” because we didn’t want to face the fact that it happened? It is the human part of us that lives from its surface (shallow perspective) that doesn’t want to look deeper than its conditioned state of belief. It is afraid of the unknown.
Now the question that follows is, “How do we forgive our escapes, denials, fears of the unknown and so on?”
Let’s review what we had just read on pages 7 and 8 discussing the three levels of understanding forgiveness. Please read again level one page 7 where it states “The Face in the mirror.” Please do not go to the next level until you first grasp level one.
The term “Face in the mirror” typifies our perception of things. We see our face in the mirror and believe that it is seeing the truth of us. The reflection is very deceptive. If we shave our beard we cannot use the reflection to do it. If the mirror cracks our face doesn’t crack. The reflection is just a reflection. This point has to be planted firmly in your understanding.
Similarly, what we perceive outside ourselves is our conditioned perception which is a reflection of our mind. Thus if we see a person we don’t like, it is because we are seeing ‘what we believe about that person and NOT the truth of that person. We are seeing our reflection of that person. The reflection is of the mind and NOT truth.
Two people can look at the same painting and see different things. What we see is the belief of our conditioned thoughts. Therefore, once we realize this we are apt to forgive our conditioned perceptions as our own limited viewpoint and NOT reality.
If we have understood this far then we are ready for level 2 of forgiveness which is…
Thoughts and emotions reflect our conditioned perception: Now we are moving deeper into the understanding of quantum forgiveness. Here at this point you are still reluctant to forgive because you have been so conditioned by your emotions that you are convinced they are real. How real are your negative emotions?
We have learned that we perceive externally what we have accepted as real in our thought structure. Thoughts are picture (image) impressions that occur by the hundreds in a blink of an eye. This is what creates our world of perception. We think about 26,000 thoughts a day and they are just conditioned impressions from the past. They are just impressions. The moment we hang on to a thought and believe it, we have created an emotion (motion of energy in the body). The body is an emotional energy body. We feel the sensations of anything that we believe as real. Our heart beats faster, our gut wrenches and our stomach churns by anything that reminds us of a traumatic past. A trauma is a subconscious memory that has become frozen in our center and now dictates how we experience life. With each occurrence of anxiety we deepen its ‘reality’ within our psyche until we start becoming ‘unbalanced’ or dysfunctional. It is all a delusion that seems real. At this point of attachment to such emotions we become totally convinced that it is real and it’s called ‘addiction’ or ‘fixation’ or ‘phobia’ or just hysteria. The point is this – it is absolutely NOT real except in our mind. We feel its pain; we feel its suffering in the emotional body and we feel it as a tangible experience – the fact of the matter is this – we created it all however subconsciously and that’s what we need to forgive. In other words, we are experiencing our mind and NOT Reality. This understanding will give us the courage to look again at what we call ‘real’ and it is this willingness to look that takes us to the 3rd level of forgiveness.
Am I the body? When we read this question we react and without any depth of seeing exclaim, “Of course I am the body!!”
Let’s take it easy and look at it realistically from the vantage point of what is real or just temporary.
When we state something is not real doesn’t mean we are not experiencing it. It means that it is not lasting and meaningful other than an appearance for the sake of unfolding our true nature.
For a moment be still and ask, “Am I this body now?” And you will find that your body now seems very real but it is a moving fluctuating and ever-changing function. Twenty years ago your body was different, totally different. It was also totally different when you were a baby; a teenager and a young man or woman. This body now seems real but it is only temporary and will soon recycle again or pass away.
As you now look at your body, ask yourself, “Who is it that says I have this body?” It couldn’t be the body that says, “I am this body?” so there is some other part of YOU that says, “I have this body!” and who is that? Who is it that says, “I have?”
Can you name this part that says, “I have this body?” Is it something you are aware of? Of course not! This part that says, “I have this body!” is the very awareness that you are. And, it is the knower that you have a body. Therefore, you cannot know it because there is no ‘you’ to know the thing that knows. After all, can the lips kiss themselves? Can the eyes see themselves? Of course not. You are that ‘knower’ often referred to as ‘heart’ or true essence. Therefore isn’t it obvious that you are the pure awareness that sees and experiences? Can you see now that you are a human being, but it is the Being that sees itself as a human? You are a Being playing the human role.
If you have understood this much then you are ready to forgive so completely that it becomes an instant healing of suffering, fear and guilt. Why? Because forgiveness is not forgiving anyone or anything but seeing clearly that there’s nothing to forgive. Whatever happened was the cause of mind’s conditioned perception and NOT reality.
Now that you have read this – stop and lay it aside. Then read again before going to bed and ask the Holy Spirit (I AM) to guide you in its deeper and more profound seeing. If you are open and receptive to it, then something in you (pure awareness or the I AM) will bring you insights. This is up to you now. You have the choice to see ego (human) or Being (God).
God is all that’s good, forgiving, glory, beauty, immortality, eternality, joy, Heaven, happiness and meaning. God did not create the world. The Mind created the world. When we awaken our deeper perception of our limited mind’s seeing, then it extends deeper and deeper until we see that we are the Cause and not the Effect. This is called Awakening.
How do we find our specific unconscious guilt?
There are three facts we need to know first before embarking on forgiveness of our guilt.
1. First, know that everyone suffers from unconscious guilt unless they are spiritually awakened. After all, what is awakening? Isn’t it the death of the ego (separation) belief which brought the unconscious guilt?
2. Unconscious guilt is NOT the truth of you. No matter how you feel this guilt, it is all an illusion made real through unawareness of your true nature as Oneness. Unconscious guilt is a form of death such as closed mind and heart, cynicism, strong doubt about your true nature, loss of innocence, worldliness, fear of getting hurt, fear of being vulnerable, fear of rejection, fear of loss and the fear of death. The more guilt you feel, the less alive you feel. Conversely, as you forgive your guilt, the more alive you feel.
3. There are nine types of unconscious guilt. Everyone feels separate initially due to the hypnotic belief “I am the body.” This belief in being a body separates you automatically from other bodies missing the Spirit that joins us all as One. Thus we feel unloved often due to this unconscious belief in separation known as loneliness, deprivation, isolation, and self-consciousness.
This separation-feeling creates the need to belong; a need to feel loved; a need for a mate and it is all triggered by this unconscious search for Oneness (God).
Since there is no awareness of this Oneness and yet subconsciously crave it through needing, seeking and desiring then it takes the form of our personality, temperament and type expression. It is here, through these nine types that we find the guilt that is created by needing what we already are but don’t know it. Thus this seeking and needing creates its opposite.
Here is a list of all nine types of guilt and how it is created through seeking Oneness (God). Let me repeat here for the sake of elucidation that there is absolutely no knowledge that we are seeking Oneness (God, Love, Wholeness, Home). So instead we call it money, power, control, fame, success, security, sex and emotional love.
Let me say this – since your true nature is already Spirit and therefore love (Oneness), goodness, innocence and glory then any seeking of it means you don’t believe you are IT and it is this that creates the unconscious guilt.
The Nine types of Guilt
1. The perfectionist: You value and are attracted to goodness. Goodness is your search for Oneness (God). You want to make the world a better pace to live in. You want to realize all of your potential and help others actualize theirs.
You have appreciation for and a dedication to excellence and doing things well. You long for perfection.
GUILT is created by over-identifying with the idealized self-image of being good, right and perfect. These become more important than anything else. If you are a good girl or good boy, then you are acceptable.
You are afraid to do anything unless you can do it perfectly. Your guilt is perfectionism. You are hardly ever fully satisfied or fully happy.
Forgive yourself whenever you feel imperfect and blaming yourself or others.
2. The Lover: You value and are attracted to love. You want to make the world a more lovable place to live in.
You are naturally a giving, generous, helpful person. You enjoy giving to others. You are generous with yourself, time, energy and possessions.
You are supportive, nurturing and considerate.
GUILT – You over identify with the idealized self-image of being loving and helpful. You are acceptable only if you are loving and nice.
You can become a compulsive helper. You give love to gain attention and approval. You expect appreciation in return for your care.
Guilt arises from being manipulative towards others to like you by giving strokes to get strokes. You even try to make others dependent upon you and thus get hurt easily and disappointed.
Forgive yourself whenever you seek approval, which is often incessant and yet subtle.
3. The achiever: You are attracted to and value efficiency, productivity, industriousness and competence. You possess a natural organizational ability. You have the ability to get things done. You often make a good salesperson.
GUILT – You can over-identify with the idealized self-image of being successful and productive such that your worth depends on what you do instead of who you are.
You can become overly efficient, machine-like and ultra programmed. You become a marketing personality and therefore worldly losing sight of Oneness.
Forgive yourself when worldly goals are used to pretend you are spiritual.
4. The individual: You are individual and value originality. You put your personal touch on everything you are involved in.
You have an ability to make the ordinary extraordinary. You can take what is plain and make it special, like an oyster changes a grain of sand into a pearl.
You value beauty and appreciate it and thus want to make the world more beautiful aesthetically.
GUILT – You can over-identify with the idealized self-image of being special and unique. You may become an eccentric caricature of originality.
You believe you must be unique, original, different; otherwise you are nobody. Your identity and worth depend on your being special.
Guilt is in not feeling special and thus insist in having your own way or be in control to prove yourself special in your own eyes.
Forgive yourself when wanting your own way at all costs or the need to control. Be alert to anger or any held-in grievance. Keep forgiving.
5. The scholar: You value and are attracted to wisdom, knowledge and understanding. For you, the intellect is a person’s highest faculty. You feel, “I think therefore I am.”
Your passion is of the mind. You are a seeker of truth. You want to discover what truly is.
You can over-identify with the idealized self-image of being wise and perceptive. You live too much out of your head and you forget you have also feelings and a heart.
You can be overly intellectual and thus be afraid of being out of touch with how you feel. You can become overly analytical and skeptical. Your questioning can interfere with your acting.
GUILT is the separation from others and preferring aloneness as you become unwilling to entertain other people’s views that may differ from yours. You may even stop participating in life.
Forgive when you find yourself intolerable, closed-off or too intellectual forsaking feelings.
6. The loyal: You are attracted to and value loyalty. You honor your commitments.
When you give your word you keep it. If you say you’ll do something, you’ll do it. You are faithful to relationships. You make a gracious host or hostess. You are protective of those in your care.
You are dedicated to your cause.
You can over-identify with the idealized self-image of being loyal and doing your duty. Many soldiers, firemen and policemen are in this category.
You go by the book and become rigid and inflexible. It may be difficult for you to change or reconsider your loyalties. Things become either black or white and no in-between. You may accept those in your fold but you can become a persecutor of those outside the fold.
Be wary in your marriage and any relationship as you can become too strict with how things should be and create strain.
Forgive yourself when you find getting locked into your rules of how things should be.
7 The Optimist: For you the purpose of life is to enjoy it. You value joy. There is delight, sparkle and joie de vivre about you.
You are a celebrator of life.
Everything is recognized as a gift. You have a childlike responsiveness to the world. You are in touch with the immediacy of things.
You can over-identify with the idealized self-image of being okay. You can overdo the pleasure principle and become overly attached to pleasure. You can become addicted to ‘highs.’
You may not be willing to endure hard labor to get what you want.
Guilt can emerge from being unable to handle emotional people especially difficult ones and would rather avoid them than deal with them.
Forgive yourself when difficult people or emotional people dampen your spirits and control you.
8. The Powerful: You are attracted to and appreciate power. You know how to get it, keep it and use it. You use your influence to bring about good. You make a strong leader like a matriarch or a patriarch. You are self-confident and self-assured.
You can over-identify with the idealized self-image of being powerful and capable.
You can easily become addicted to power and control and rely on it to manipulate others. You use your power to protect yourself instead of to help others. Therefore you can become a bully, a dictator. Your presence can be over-bearing and intimidating.
Guilt – you can harbor great anger and aggression and even hatred and thus can use forgiveness in these instances.
9. The Peace Lover: You value peace which is the tranquility of order. You have an intuitive sense and appreciation for harmony, for when things fit together.
You possess diplomacy. You are able to reconcile opposing forces and can see both sides of an issue.
You have an allowing approach to life which encourages people and events to unfold in their own way and at their own pace.
You can over-identify with this idealized self-image of being settled and avoid any kind of conflict.
You can overdo agreement. You experience ambivalence about whether to agree or disagree, to conform or not to conform. You find it hard to find the perfect balance.
You find it difficult choosing a position or taking sides. You can be indecisive or put off making any decision.
Guilt is experienced when you meet conflict or anger either within you or outside you. You find it hard to confront conflict head-on. This is your guilt. Forgive this feeling every time you are aware of it. In fact any discomfort you feel is to be forgiven otherwise it builds as inner resentment creating frustration and deep anxiety.
You are a human being. In this world of illusion we emphasize the human and forget the Being because we feel separate as bodies. In this forgetting and abiding by the world’s rules we find a feeling of lack known as unconscious guilt. This guilt is the result of separation between human (ego) and Being (God). This guilt is known as the feeling of unrest, seeking, wanting, desiring and never satisfied with the subtle nagging that we are missing something and/or don’t feel good enough. If these feelings are not dealt with they can escalate to immense suffering.
Our only freedom is the realization of our true nature which emerges as the result of forgiving our unconscious guilt which surfaces as suspicious nature, doubtful, skeptical and resentful and often escalating to viciousness, inner rage, violence and deep hate often ending in self-destruction.
Awareness of our true nature combined with forgiveness is the simplest, fastest and most direct route towards inner fulfillment, freedom and lasting peace.