How to be Intimate

Oftentimes when email questions I receive follow a particular pattern something gets triggered which literally forces me to write about it. The following recent emails have provoked such a response. Here are some of them…

“I keep wanting honesty from my relationships and yet I make it impossible to elicit such honesty since I counteract their honesty when given.”

“You suggest for me ‘to be’ but how can I when I feel such guilt?”

“I feel so stuck despite years of study and reading from major teachings.”

“I have felt a heaviness in my system ever since I can remember and yet nothing has ever helped me, why?

“I can’t seem to live the truth I feel I know so well!”

We have all read enough and so this article will be focused on direct experience. Before we can have a direct experience of what seems to create these disturbing and confusing questions, let’s make one thing perfectly clear, which is, the vast difference between thinking and feeling. Our questions are based on FEELING and yet we think about them rather than FEEL them directly.

What is the vast difference between THINKING and FEELING?

First of all, thinking is always “about-it” but never IT, itself. So, when you think about something, it is always “about it” and not IT directly. Thus we not only miss it but exacerbate it. On the other hand, FEELING is immediate; feeling is direct; feeling cannot be solved by thinking for it only compounds it!

Trying to make sense of a feeling by thinking about it is like trying to fly by flapping your arms. And yet, absurd as it may seem, this is exactly what creates most of the questions I get. You can’t figure out a feeling because it is impossible. Thinking emerges from conditioned thought and so it cannot understand feeling anymore than darkness can understand light.

Feeling is not a thought. Feeling is awareness combined with memory. For example, let’s say as a child you were laughed at in school and felt inadequate. Now you find yourself, many years later, disliking anyone immediately that laughed at you (or suspected they were laughing at you). No amount of thought regarding your feeling can alter it. Your perceptual memory of the incident has become frozen as a memory in your cellular genetic code and you react without having the slightest idea why. And, even if you found out why it would still trigger the feeling. The only way we could rise above such a feeling would be through the awareness without its conditioned perception. Yet people keep studying and reading material while being stuck with their conditioned perceptions, hence the usual frustration and confusion

So, what can we do? -- since feeling is direct and immediate and ever-present, then it is the awareness of such a feeling without its memory (judgement, story, thought) that we can cleanse the feeling from its painful experience. Here’s how…

First, acknowledge the FEELING just as it is without any judgement or blame towards anyone especially yourself. A good friend of mine pictured her heaviness like an anchored ship unable to move. Feel your feeling and give it a shape, color or metaphor. This picture would help in not thinking about the story or judgment of being good or bad. This feeling is usually a nagging discomfort, a self-consciousness we have had since childhood; it could feel like a guilt, shame, fear; a feeling of not being-good-enough; a feeling as if we have done something wrong or lacking something. And, if you are true to yourself you’ll discover that this feeling has been with you most of your life.

This feeling is in everyone whether we admit it or not because it is our very essence craving expression. It is our core Being reaching out to itself wanting intimacy. Since most people are not aware of this inner craving for love because it is seen as personal attachment then it is rarely experienced as it actually is. It is in experiencing this inner core that we finally wake up to our true essence of Being. People who battle with this feeling, while being interested in spiritual truth, often confuse the issue with personal pain-body and so miss the collective quality of such a happening.

How is it a collective feeling? Even as you read this booklet you will resonate with it and, in total honesty, you know it relates to you. Yet if you handed this booklet to another person who was also honest they will feel the same way. Therefore, isn’t it logical to assume that it is NOT personal but a collective (universal) experience?

What keeps you separate from that intimacy is the fear you are not good enough; not worthy of love or awakening. This is the fear that you knew from the moment of birth. It is the fear that was communicated to you by your parents, by your conditioning and by all those you came in contact with in daily life.

The first step towards the state of beingness is to become intimate, very intimate, with yourself because that’s when you discover your true divine nature.

This feeling is with everyone but most people are not aware of it at all, and those who are aware of this feeling make it personal as if it is happening only to them. It is this personal attachment that creates the most emotional suffering.

As we grow older, this feeling doesn’t go away but simply gets covered up by trying to find meaning in material gain, success, fame or a relationship. However, we can never make this feeling go away despite our best intentions. The problem is that despite our achievements we still carry this feeling with us that surfaces once more when we have got used to our material gain, success or relationship. It usually surfaces in our relationships when they become intimate and start demanding honesty of feelings when honesty can only be self-honesty. In other words, we cannot make our partner honest in their feelings towards us while we are still beset with our own undiscovered unease.

Since this feeling can never be solved by thought about it nor overcome by any exploration through words, what can we do?


We can start by learning to LISTEN without judgment the moment the feeling becomes obvious such as feeling betrayed, angry, upset, hurt, depressed, anxious or any negative drama. We listen by knowing that any negative feeling is a negation of pure feeling (which is love).


Love is what we want most of all from the moment we were born (collective search for Oneness).

We can start LISTENING by visualizing the following:-
Picture the following as clearly as you can – you see an innocent child who is feeling sad, hurt, misunderstood and disowned. Reach out to this child by looking lovingly into their sad eyes and compassionately hold their hands into yours as you feel the warmth of love enfolding you. All you feel towards this child is love and total absolute acceptance.

This child is your inner pain that you often voiced without feeling it directly but often blamed it on yourself or another. This inner child lives in every human being because it is a collective inner unconscious knowing of our true essence called LOVE.

This Love, which is craved, is often our greatest fear and that’s why suffering reaches such great proportions. For example, what is loneliness but the feeling of separation from the Oneness we are.
Our true love nature when misunderstood becomes a great fear. Here’s another example, you fall in love with someone, what is it that happened? For a few moments you have forgotten about yourself and seen only this ‘other.’ It is this utter absence of self that is pure love. Just like when a mother gives a painful birth to her child and at the moment of holding that child there is only love and joy (no ego). Yet, our mind conditioned by the idea of personal image concludes that such a loss of self is akin to death and so whenever our identity is threatened we suffer a form of death. We do not realize that the egoless Self is our true joy and fulfillment. When not recognized then it becomes our greatest fear. Loneliness, desolation, isolation, deprivation and separation are all our greatest suffering. Yet, if we LISTENED to that feeling as it actually is we would awaken our dormant joy and love.

Our hunger for truth through teachings becomes just another search to give us meaning and escape our inner pain. We do not yet realize that only the dissolution of this pain can we discover our Oneness nature. Living truth is not knowing the words but feeling the Pure Feeling of our true essence known as Love and felt as peace and joy.

This contact with this lost child is an intimate contact with yourself – it is the highest and closest intimacy with your Being nature. What is not of love and joy is simply a reminder of this lost child and your reactions to it.

This lost child exists in everyone who has not found their true nature yet. It is more evident in people who have not received the love and warmth as children and therefore know clearly here and now that whenever you feel hurt, betrayed, offended, depressed, angry, anxious or frightened it is really the little lost child inside you and not the ‘other’ you are blaming. We are never upset for the reason we think and believe but always because of that little child’s fear of not being lovable enough; not being good enough or being deserving enough when in truth this little child is also your Essence of Being crying out for its own discovery and claiming its own right ‘To Be.’ That child always feels it has done something wrong without having the slightest idea what that wrong could be.

Review your world right now and see what you don’t like about it. Then having done that see how you have created this world through the beliefs of that lost child inside you. There is no wrong in what you see but only the “belief in wrong” created by that lost child seeking its home and acting through your nervous system as unconscious reactions.

There is no spiritual practice necessary except the intimacy with yourself. No one can supply that need for assurance, security and freedom other than yourself through loving and accepting this lost child. This is the story of the prodigal son in the Bible. It is the story of forgiveness (embracement, welcoming, acceptance, allowing, surrender etc).

In brief, there are two secrets of transformation and they are…

1. Acknowledgement of your inner pain as a collective need for Love.
2. And secondly, to allow it totally as you would allow a child’s loss of innocence by holding its hands and embracing it with love.

Remember that there’s nothing ever wrong with you. Your true nature is love itself and therefore Divine Oneness.

When, during an emotional crises, you are able to LISTEN to that inner child (pain-body) that’s how transformation happens and we awaken our knowing without thinking about it.

You may still have ideas about who you are through a conditioned self-image and thus keep the pain of that child ever deep in your unconscious, but, until these ideas are wrapped in the joyous emotion of knowing the truth of your being, you will not transform into the beauty of you.


It is this awakened inner knowing that will bring us peace, love and freedom from suffering. There is no greater joy than having a glimpse of your eternal Oneness.

NOTE: Contact me if you have questions
burtharding@shaw.ca

I have heard that we are entering the 5th dimension, what is that?

"There are so many different beliefs about the coming changes and one consistent shift happening is that of the 5th dimension. Can you elaborate on what that is?"

There is no mystery about the different dimensions but the shifting of our consciousness to see more of what IS!! For example, a few years ago, maybe 30 years ago or so, we were immersed in the 3rd dimension. The 3rd dimension is very simply the three measurements of all material objects such as width, depth and height. In other words, we believed that matter is the reality and we based our whole life on this so-called fact. A few years ago Albert Einstein discovered the theory of relativity that helped many take a leap in consciousness growth (expansion). The eminent scientist Dr. David Bohm added and proved the fact that the universe is holographic and won the Nobel prize. These facts have catapulted our consciousness into the 5th dimension. The 4th dimension is the one most people are in this present age. The fourth dimension has to do with the fact that we are more than a body but have personality, thoughts, emotions and deep feelings that far transcend mere physicality. We have learned the power of mind and in this fourth dimension we are beginning to see that the world is not real at all but simply energy that has manifested into form. Most people are beginning to feel this fact that we are far more than a physical form and that our mind determines how we live life.

The 5th dimension takes us much deeper than the mind and catapults us into the Source as Oneness. In other words, when we enter the 5th dimension the consciousness shifts becomes so powerful that our viewpoint goes beyond the physical and mental aspects and right into the universal principle of Source also known as God or the "I AM" as the One Being and all of us playing a human role directed by this "I AM." When we can look at each other and see this FACT, in other words, see each other as Spirit, then we have entered the 5th dimension known as True Unconditional Love. We are now ready for this shift to occur and it will happen on many levels both physical, mental and spiritual including the earth and its elements which may shift accordingly. There is no separation in anything and we are also the earth and heaven at the same time. We can prepare for this great shift by simply learning to forgive (embrace) every judgment, personal or otherwise) and thus collapse the lessons that were meant to teach us through suffering. We can align with the universal energy simply by forgiving every separative thought that takes over without effort or control. It is the simplest thing we can 'do' if we are willing to open our heart.

What would be the secret of a relationship that lasts and helps us to grow?

"What is the secret of a 'perfect' relationship?"

The secret lies in the word "mirror" -- what you see in your partner is what you are perceiving your partner to be and therefore mirroring back those feelings.
Intimacy in relationships is the first real step towards growing together. In intimacy arises expectations and with expectations arises also resentments because of how we expect things 'should be' in the individual mind. This stage can't be helped since it is in the process of 'growing' up emotionally. It is at this stage that we learn 'forgiveness' which is the ability to embrace your partner as he or she is according to their enneagram type.
Forgiveness, which is the generous open willingness to embrace whatever IS, is the secret key to a mature spiritual relationship. Forgiveness is not just for the unconscious expectations but towards the deeper subtle resentments that underlie communication. A common resentment among the left-brain mentality is "he/she doesn't make sense when she/he is upset." The right-brain mentality harbors the resentment, "he/she doesn't listen." or "he/she doesn't understand me."
Communication is a major factor in a relationship and unless it is motivated by and through genuine love and respect, it is bound to create unconscious deep-seated resentments.
Two people, no matter how much in love they are and embrace intimacy, are bound to differ in their views of life (as the enneagram types suggest such diversity) and yet the truth is that no one is right or wrong. The key point is -- are you willing to forgive? The ACIM Course suggests, "Would you rather be right or happy?"
Step inside your partners feelings and generously look from within their viewpoint, in other words, mirror how they see. No one is right or wrong...only LOVE matters.
The greatest human fear is rejection and this abounds in relationships and creates defensive attitudes that gradually turn to deep resentment and finally even hate. Many relationships are imprisoned by love/hate relationship. It is through this fear of rejection that resentments are built and finally lead to the death of love. Resentments create the feeling of separation and even after being married to someone for twenty years or so one might feel, "I have married a stranger."
All forgiveness (embracing, allowing, accepting, surrendering, seeing their illusion etc) of resentments is the only needed requirement. Therefore awareness of any inner resentment, no matter how seemingly slight, is the first step towards a great relationship followed by forgiveness of such. Awareness not only of the words uttered in communication with each other but also the personal projection that ensues automatically from the given person. For example, if we suspect a certain attitude and feeling behind the words then we are carrying that within us and blaming it on the other. This projection of seeing the other as offensive is really one's own belief system (mirroring). We see only what we are ourselves. To see love rather than fear. Our only choice in communication is choosing love over fear every time remembering always that there is no right or wrong but love or fear. Love will grow or wither according to the view we have of it -- are we seeing Light or darkness?

The Miracle of Trust

Trust is basic and yet the most powerful subject
in all spiritual teachings.

In my thirty-five years of study, reading, experiencing and teaching what have I learned? The reply to that question is simple and direct – I have learned to trust Life, God, the ‘IS’ that I AM!
Trust awakens slowly through our natural deep craving to learn, to understand and to find meaning and peace. Trust is not acquired but awakened. Trust is our birthright. In fact there is no spiritual awakening per se but the unfoldment of trust.

This article-booklet will be divided in three sections…

1. What is trust?
2. How we lose trust.
3. How we regain trust.

In this ego world we have lost the most powerful and the most treasured possessions of innocence and inner freedom through losing trust, believing that the world is more real than our very essence.
In this article/booklet I have garnered the precious teachings of “A Course in Miracles” plus the writings of well-known sages regarding the enneagrams which I call ‘soul-types.’ Although there is no such thing as an individual soul but simply a separate mind yet the term will suffice.
The ‘soul’ is our consciousness and its accumulations and memory. Consciousness is eternal because it is derived directly from pure awareness. Pure Awareness is our true nature of love, oneness, goodness and innocent spirit.

Most people are not aware that all human beings belong to one of the soul-types according to how they pursue meaning in life. There are nine soul-types and each one has its own way of pursuing the same one goal – the goal of all human beings which is BEING itself!
It is imperative to remember, right at the outset, that the soul-type you represent is not the real you. These nine types are collective energy that manifests when trust is temporarily lost and distrust takes its toll on the mind/body organism of the individual thus losing their true nature.
The ego world is built on distrust and hence the wars, corruptions and man’s inhumanity to man, and yet within the very fabric of this distrust is the craving for something to believe in and becomes one’s one separate religion, belief, system, organization, cult, political system or just a separate way of life that divides and separates humans into groups. Yet again, despite this division does the bigger picture want Oneness, Unity and Love.

Please note: The soul types known as enneagrams can be found by googling for them on the internet asking “Free Enneagram Test.” Make sure that you are honest in your answers and then try another test to see if the results coincide.

What is trust?

Trust is the natural result of innocence which in spiritual parlance is known as Emptiness or Spirit. It is the child that looks up at his father in utter openness of heart -- that’s trust.
We do not develop trust – we awaken it from its dormant state that stifled, suppressed and thwarted it.

The ACIM “Manual for Teachers” says:
“Trust is the foundation on which on which the teachers of God fulfill their function.
The teachers of God have trust in the world, because they have learned it is not governed by the laws of the world made up. It is governed by a Power That is in them but not of them. It is this Power that keeps all things safe. It is through this Power that the teachers of God look on a forgiven world.
When this Power has once been experienced, it is impossible to trust one’s own petty strength again. Who would attempt to fly with the tiny wings of a sparrow when the mighty power of an eagle has been given him? And who would place his faith on the shabby offerings of the ego when the gifts of God are laid before him?

How do we lose trust?
We are human beings. There are over 6 billion humans on this earth but there is only One Being. Our world convinces us that objects are real and therefore we learn early to ignore that which created the objects in the first place. In other words, we disregard that which we cannot see, hear or feel. Thus we find ourselves completely sold on our humanness and totally forget the Being that we truly are. In this forgetting, we still crave the Being but have so forgotten it that even its name becomes a belief rather than the truth of our nature. We have many beliefs, religions and teachings that remind us of this Being but find it hard to swallow when the world is so enticingly and seemingly real in its temptations. We spend our life pursuing fame, fortune, success, specialness and accomplishment and in this time-consuming effort our inner Being ‘suffers’ from ignorance and it shows in our restlessness, unease, dis-ease, unhappiness, war, violence, crime, desperation, loneliness, isolation and fear. In this separation from God we have lost trust in Being.
Yet despite this so-called loss, we hunger for completion which is impossible with lack of trust. It is this distrust which is the suffering of mankind.

The nine soul-types pursue their goal of Oneness (Being) through the following ideals: (the numbers indicate the soul-type):

1. They pursue perfection in everything they accomplish and so are often dissatisfied and restless.
2. They pursue the ideal through their own ego will and are often hurt or unsatisfied in their relationships.
3. They idealize harmony and achievement but find outer goals empty and unfulfilling.
4. They idealize originality and individuality and suffer low self-worth as a result.
5. They idealize omniscience through knowledge but often feel alienated.
6. They idealize strength and it often takes the form of outward goals.
7. They idealize wisdom and prefer optimism to pessimism, they seek this through future planning.
8. They idealize truth but it becomes their truth through control.
9. They idealize holy love and miss it from fear of not having it.

How the ideals create delusions & distrust

1. Reality is split between good and bad.
2. “I have a separate personal will.”
3. “I am a personal doer.”
4. “I have a separate identity.”
5. “I am a separate self.”
6. “I have no true nature.”
7. “I have a personal self unfoldment.”
8. “Reality is dual and conflictual.”
9. “My love is localized.”

How distrust creates difficulties

1. The belief in wrong.
2. Easily humiliated.
3. Often feel helpless.
4. The feeling of abandonment.
5. The feeling od isolation.
6. The feeling of insecurity.
7. The feeling of being lost.
8. The feeling of guilt.
9. Often feel unloved.




How difficulties create reactions

1. “I have to improve and be better”
2. “I can get love through manipulation.”
3. “I have to strive and do in order to be worthwhile”
4. “I need to be in control or I lose myself.”
5. “I need to withdraw”
6. “I feel suspicious and need to defend myself.”
7. “I need to plan.”
8. “They are to blame for this.”
9. “I go unconscious during conflict.”


How trust grows

We awaken trust through the recognition of our true nature as pure awareness. Pure awareness is already the case but due to distrust we end up not seeing the obvious. Each soul-type has its own ‘buts’ ‘what-ifs’ ‘maybes’ and fears. In other words, we do not see the Being as obvious because our delusions according to soul-type are such deep-rooted fixations that they undermine any attempt to seeing the truth. After all, these delusions created by distrust have created a monster that seems to have a personality of its own. This monster is known as ego. And here’s the good news – there’s no such thing as ego but a self-image that got twisted by so much distrust. This distrust is often finding ways in order not to find peace, which paradoxically, it is always striving towards. This self-sabotage is the work of the soul-type ego.

Get to know your way of wanting peace and inner fulfillment. This is often referred to as the Holy Idea. Then having found your dream-goal towards meaning, get to know how you have created the belief of distrust and how that belief created the difficulties and reactions. It is these reactions that are known as emotional suffering.

Here are some usual questions.

How can I overcome my difficulties when they have become almost part of me?
There is no need to overcome anything but just be aware that when you are suffering it is because you have relied on your favorite delusions. It is this ‘seeing’ that is essential.

Am I stuck in this soul-type for this lifetime?
You are NOT this soul-type but it is your expression in this lifetime. What’s important is what is real. Your soul-type is NOT real because it is only for this lifetime. However, you can find peace and inner fulfillment despite the soul-type because your true nature is Oneness and not individual type.

But if everything is Oneness and there is no individual to overcome anything or control anything then what can I do?
That’s the wonderful news – there is nothing you need do but SEE clearly what-is happening and then smile, laugh or simply forgive it (which means allowing yourself to see its illusion).

Missing the point

Someone wrote,"My goal is enlightenment. I refuse to believe there are no answers. I believe in me and I believe in mankind."


Questions can only have verbal or written words as 'answers.' But is that really an 'answer' or a pointer towards the truth? Verbal answers merely create the space for more questions until all questions are exhausted and we are left open, vulnerable and humbled by the helplessness of the conditioned mind to understand. It is at this point that we realize we don't know and our acknowledgment of this fact opens the heart for real direct experience of what is here and now beyond words. It is through this innocent, humble and open heart that we finally recognize our Oneness. It is here that we cease asking questions and see the obvious truth that has previously escaped us when we were looking for answers in words and mental gymnastics. Truth is not belief in a 'me' but in the wholeness that IS!

The Three Simple steps of the Spiritual Life!

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"You mentioned that the Spiritual Life has three aspects. Could you elaborate on these three and how we can live them?"

Picture the sky and clouds. Keep in mind as you watch this picture that the sun is always present. Picture the Light of the Sun as the very nature of YOU. The clouds represent the activity that seems to hide the sun and create the semblance of darkness, dreariness, dullness, smallness, contraction and oppresion of the Light. Yet no matter how covered up the Light is -- it is always present!

1. The first aspect is the darkness of the clouds which are our conditioned thoughts and their negative emotions. They are the collective unconscious guilt. This unconscious guilt which is in the one-collective-ego is the result of the belief that we are separate from God. God is the essence and glory of intelligent and peaceful happy Life. Any feeling of separation from God (essence of I AM) brings automatically feelings of unease, seeking, unrest, discomfort, dissatisfaction, boredom, fear and the longing for completion. This longing for completion is the result of feeling (unconsciously) that something is missing; that we are not quite good enough; that somehow something is wrong without knowing what! This feeling is knwn as the separation from God (the essence of Life). If one happens to be an atheist or simply skeptic then the seeking takes form in the desire for success, worldly attainment, fame or power or even escape through drink, drugs and/or over-indulgence in pleasure to compensate for an empty life.
This unconscious guilt is subtle yet feels like a pebble in your shoe.

2. This unconscious guilt which can escalate into a corrupted life is not individual but collective. Unconscious guilt at its best is felt as suspiciousness. Unconscious guilt at its worst is viciousness. Yet again it is not individual but collective. YOU are guiltless. You are the sun, the bright Light presence of Being that is never diminished through its thoughts and emotions but only when you believe these to be real. It is your interpretation of these inner feelings by making them yours that brings untold unhappiness, depression, fear and even desperation.
There is only one way to rise above unconscious guilt and it is through forgiveness. This forgiveness is often referred to as allowing, accepting, letting-go, looking into and body-awareness. Forgiveness is not trying to forgive another for their actions but to see clearly that there is nothing to forgive because all actions stem from cloudy thoughts and emotions. By seeing one's true nature as Spirit that's automatic forgiveness.
If you can forgive your judgments, fears and grievances you feel towards yourself and others then you are on your way to clearing the stigma of unconscious guilt. This is not difficult to do once you understand that your true nature is guiltless and no thought or emotion can diminish you but only your belief in it. You are always okay just as you are if you simply accept yourself fully.

3. You are a human Being -- a Being playing the human role. Since our human part precedes our Being-part then we are weak and give in to weakness by believing our negative thoughts and emotions. Thus we need help -- this help we can get from turning towards our very presence of Being known as the Holy Spirit. Talk to it as if it is your dearest friend. Ask it to accept all your negative feelings, fears and thoughts. Turn to it for guidance first thing in the morning and use it all the time until IT becomes your dearest and closest friend. It will never fail you or desert you in time of need. That's a guarantee.

There is only YOU!!

There is only
YOU!

You are all you can ever know!
There is no ‘outside’ or ‘inside’ you.
‘Inside’ or ‘outside are conditioned
perceptions of physical memory.
You think, feel, see and experience according
to how you see yourself!!

Let us talk about your favorite subject – YOU! Oftentimes people do not want to admit that they are all that they think about, but honesty can be quite an awakener in itself.
If we fail to acknowledge such a fact then it is only because we feel guilty about it. If you feel sad it is you who is sad. If you feel happy it is you who is happy. Whatever you believe, no matter how ignoble or noble, you have to live with it. YOU are all you have or will ever have. Whether you admit it or not, it is you who has to live with that belief.

One evening during satsang I asked the people, “What is it you want more than anything?” and replies came in the form of wanting truth, love, peace, reality or what have you. Most, if they were very honest, would probably have said, “I want a million dollars or a new Ferrari or having power and fame.”
Then I asked them another question, “When you want truth, peace, love, fame etc who is it you want it for?” and that question made some realize that what they really wanted was “me.” Some had object and replied, “No, it is not ‘me’ I think about by my son. He comes first.”
“Doesn’t he come first because he is your son or do you feel the same about every other son and daughter?” Of course, he comes first because he is “my” son. Remember that ‘YOU’ comprises of me, mine and self-image.

When there is objection to this obvious truth, that’s when we have to look deeply into our own heart and ask if we are being honest, for that is when we defend and protect ourselves. This self-protection and defensiveness is the need to cling to this ‘me’-idea referred to as “YOU!”

If we start to glimpse, even minutely, what is being written here, you will start to see into what is most precious in Life.

Let’s take it a step further…

Ask yourself right now, “Doesn’t this apply to everyone?” Even as you read this, aren’t you applying it to yourself? After all, when we say the word ‘YOU’ aren’t we really referring to everyone?
Did you know that as you read this, you are automatically referring it to yourself and not how it refers to Karen, Susanne or Burt. Everything has to do with you. YOU are all you know or can ever know.

Here is the first truth to mull over – there is nothing outside of you EVER! You start with you and end up enlightened with you! The only difference is this – that the small box called ‘me’ that saw itself so separate, so isolated and lonely finds itself to be like everyone else.
So, if everyone is the same, then aren’t we all one essence? Now, doesn’t this blow you away? And, as you get blown away by the realization of your assumed smallness and find yourself part of a bigger picture, you still are ‘YOU.’ However, you are now looking through the limitless awareness that ‘YOU’ really is. You will always be YOU but as the ‘me’ idea begins to drop then so will egoic conditioning drop.
Expansion of awareness is like looking at a gigantic ladder reaching above the clouds. The ‘me’ is the first rung of the ladder where only ‘me’ exists as the center of its small universe. The ‘me’ is like the little frog believing that its whole world is the small pond where it resides. As it climbs higher and higher then it sees more and more of its own Oneness. Yet, despite the climb, the ‘YOU’ remains, shedding its conditioned and limited viewpoint to see everyone as oneself.

Here is the great revealer -- how you see others, you see yourself! There is the sudden recognition that if I call you a son-of-a-bitch then I have called myself a son-of-a-bitch! If I resent what you did, I carry that resentment in ‘me.’ If I seek revenge then I torture myself with its thought-process and when I have succeeded in getting even, I have also succeeded in not liking myself whether I am aware of it or not. It was Jesus who said that what you do to others you do to me. He meant that being Christ (Oneness) every act was done to itself. If you love another then you feel that love alive in you. If you hate another than you feel that hate in you.

If you see others as they actually are despite their actions outwardly then that is how you see yourself. If you watch the news and indulge in the disasters, crimes and wars then that’s how you’ll see the world that you live in. The world is a creation of mind because there is nothing, absolutely nothing, outside of YOU.
If I hurt you deliberately then I would feel that hurt by not liking myself unconsciously. The word ‘unconsciously’ covers every aspect of our judgments, dislikes, resentments, condemnations and negative thinking – this is how when we believe we are separate from Oneness we automatically create an unconscious guilt.

This unconscious guilt known often as ego is like a stone in your shoe or like an itch you can’t scratch away. It brings automatic feelings like “I am not good enough” or “I am unlovable” or “I am missing something” or “I have done something wrong without knowing what.”
Why do people feel this unconscious guilt? -- By clinging to the ‘me’ aspect as separate from others comes the feeling of isolation, loneliness and deprivation. Yet we cannot get rid of this ‘me’ because it is your field of experience; your frame of reference as ‘you’; it is the felt-sense of ‘I’ that says “I am me.” We can’t help this ‘me’ concept because we believe it is who we really are. We cannot get rid of it anymore than you can get rid of the air around you. All you are left with is to SEE MORE up the ladder from ‘me’ to “I AM.” Then you’ll start to see in an obvious way that everyone is not only like you but IS ‘YOU.’ If you catch a glimpse of this Oneness, even for a brief nano-second moment, you’ll start feeling the freedom of ‘YOU.’

How you see others
The great mystery is this – ‘YOU’ is all you can ever know, and rightly so, because that’s how spiritual awakening happens. There is only Oneness but then Oneness is YOU.
When the recognition hit me in the year 2000 that I am a human being, it was clear that I was the BEING playing the human role of Burt. While the intense ‘experience’ lasted, there was no other but myself and, everything I saw was myself. Yet there was no Burt around.

Since most awakening consciousness is a gradual process then there seem to be degrees in awareness. I said ‘there seem to be degrees’ in awareness. It is Oneness being kind by showing itself in small doses until we see the whole picture clearly and finally realize it was all obvious.
Initially all I thought was about ‘me, but didn’t recognize it consciously. The average person thinks about 26,000 thoughts a day and all of them refer to oneself. There is initial awareness that how one feels emotionally or mentally has nothing to do with Reality for it is all based on thought.

The next level of awareness starts with seeking something ‘better’ for oneself, maybe some liberating truth or some secret, but no matter what we find, it is all concerned with ‘me.’ There is no getting away from ‘me.’ In fact, the more I struggled against ‘me,’ the greater the ‘me’ had a hold on ‘me.’ This is the egoic trap. So here I reach frustration, confusion, control, anger, fear uncertainty, insecurity and doubt about what I am ‘doing’ here. These are all forms for recognizing how egoic one really is. We try to become happier but nothing happens. Maybe we study Advaita and learn the ‘evils’ of ego but all we generally end up doing is more information, ready-answers but no joy or peace. We even attempt, sincerely, to get rid of the ego while feeding it more validity and, as a result, it tries to strangle-hold us.

Our awareness starts to move a little deeper when we recognize that ‘others’ are a part of us (there are no others because there is only YOU!) So we try to be kinder, sweeter and more loving until we are attacked and we retaliate realizing it was all a sham. However, realizing it was all a façade is itself a leap in consciousness expansion.
All we are ever ‘learning’ is unlearning the egoic unconscious guilt.
We may even pretend we are pure awareness (which in Reality we are) but we are stuck with the pride of ‘me’ knowing this and thus lose hold of the YOU that truly is IT!

It is about this time that the battle against the ego starts and that’s when sadness becomes part of our daily life. We still haven’t recognized that ‘YOU’ is all there is and therefore there is no such thing as ego. Our attempts at trying to resist the ego merely reinforces our belief in it and sadness is the result.
Ego is still the belief in a ‘me’ being stuck in the bottom rung of the ladder. We have to allow ourselves to see that the ladder is who we are!

What is the secret then? We ask, “Who am I?” but no answers are possible because there is no ego to know -- how can the ‘me’ (ego) know that which is higher than itself? This question leaves us with what we are – pure awareness without a past.

Is this ‘YOU’ subject to time?
The part that believes in a ‘me’ is a self-image based on the past conditioning. In moments of deep happiness, love or ecstatic union the ‘me’ is forgotten and all that’s left is ‘YOU.’
“Aha!!” so that’s it! If I am not the past, since it is now history, then ‘YOU’ must be the NOW itself! And, since ‘YOU’ is the NOW itself then it is beyond time. Are you beginning to see how grand you really are?
This ‘me’ doesn’t change from ego to Self – it awakens to what has always been the case! This ‘YOU’ is awareness presence.

This ‘YOU’ is the “I AM” of Self. Therefore, whatever I see, experience or do, it is always this “I AM” doing, seeing and experiencing. In other words, it is Oneness doing it all!! All that awakened was the viewpoint from a limited dark veil to a broad open window but nothing changed except the SEEING of what-is!
When this ‘me’ was caught in the past conditioning (self-image) it was merely unconscious, asleep, robotic in nature. It was blind to what was real and lasting. It was a shell filled with uncertainty, insecurity, fear, doubts and problems. When it opened its eyes and saw what was real and lasting nothing changed but shifted in its viewpoint. It was like looking at the outside from a glass window while gazing at the pane-glass itself putting the outside out of focus. All that was needed to see the broader view was shifting your gaze from the glass to the outside as if no glass existed.

How do we shift our viewpoint? Next time you find yourself thinking about the world or others – pause for a moment and see how what you are seeing is your own perception projected from your conditioned mind. Then, having done so, allow yourself to see that there is only ‘YOU.’ The projection of fear (unconscious guilt) once it is seen through is then forgiven simply because the true nature of awareness is innocence and sees no wrong. Voila! That’s how love unfolds!

‘YOU’ is One-Self!
There is a liberating feeling when we start seeing that this ‘me’ is not the thoughts, emotions but a higher aspect than just a personal self comprised of time. This begins our freedom-knowing. This recognition of seeing yourself in all others begins the liberation of self into Self.

Initially this ‘me’ is nothing but a bundle of unconscious guilt torn by beliefs in ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ – conditioned further by conventional religions in so-called ‘rightful-living’ we created boundaries, fears and phobias regarding sex, loving, intimacy, openness and freedom. We became obsessed with ‘doing’ the right thing and we enslaved ourselves by not expressing what was in the heart as natural as breathing. We believed that we had to be a certain way in order to be good commandeered by our past conditioning. This enslaved us and created fears from the very thing we wanted most.

When you feel sad, angry, upset or simply lost and negative, it has nothing to do with Reality but only your thoughts about it. We are so inundated with how we should be, to be good and spiritual, that we have stifled the very Truth that is in us. Since nature abhors loss of freedom then our need for freedom becomes addictions, guilt, even perversions. We find ourselves sabotaging the things we really want and feel guilty for pursuing them.

This vicious circle is known as unconscious guilt. It is the arsenal of the egoic mind. We cannot get rid of this egoic mind, after all, who’s going to do it? We forget that there is no ‘me’ in reality because there’s only YOU! Are you beginning to see this revealing picture?

‘YOU’ is the oneness of pure awareness from which everything appears and manifests.

When you confine your ‘thinking’ to your conditioned beliefs then you actually create a wall against the very truth of YOU. Your natural state is Oneness and therefore it is intimacy, warmth, love, openness and unrestrictive freedom. ‘Giving’ is your true nature as opposed to ‘taking’ when expressed as ‘me.’ When this ‘me’ starts to dissolve into “I AM” (which is YOU) then the unconscious guilt starts to fall away and with it all the fears that imprisoned you.

What are the fears that imprison you when you act as ‘me’ rather than pure awareness? The ‘me’ is driven for love with a craving and neediness so that when love actually appears it will become beset with fears – the fear of rejection; the fear of not being loved enough; the fear of abandonment; the fear of intimacy; the fear of letting go in sexual expression and the fear of losing it all.

Throughout history we have had ‘righteous’ groups who protected themselves against evil while creating a worse evil themselves. Do you recall fundamentalist Christians? Do you recall the Ku Klux Klan? The Salem witch hunts? The hate literature against Jews and minorities? The communist propaganda to control the masses? And so many others under the banner of ‘doing the right thing?’ Is there such a thing as ‘doing the right thing?’ How freeing to realize there is only Oneness known as YOU. Everyone else is YOU. How can we hurt that which is ‘One’ with no separation? This Oneness or YOU is known as LOVE.
The ego, whose arsenal is unconscious guilt, is terrified of true love. I read the following from “The disappearance of the universe” page 170 and had to quote it because of its direct message:

“The ego is always trying to find ways to prevent you from closely examining its thought system.
Loudly the ego tells you NOT to look inward, for if you do your eyes will light on sin, and God will strike you blind.”
Jesus said in the Course that what the ego is really worried about is not sin but the truth…
“…beneath your fear to look within because of sin is yet another fear, and one which makes the ego tremble.
What if you looked within and saw no sin? This “fearful” question is one the ego never asks. And you who ask it now are threatening the ego’s whole defensive system too seriously for it to bother to pretend is is your friend.”

The world is beset with wars, crimes, violence and cruelty because of one basic belief the ego has known as unconscious guilt. Unconscious guilt believes in ‘wrong.’ It is preachy, proselytizing, controlling and demanding that we do what is ‘right.’ Yet there’s no need to do what is right at all when you awaken to the LOVE that YOU actually are. You don’t ‘do’ right – YOU simply live love and then ‘right’ is no longer a ‘doing’ but a ‘being.’

‘YOU’ is all there is!! This is not only an incredible life-changing, perception-shifting and freedom-giving but it is actually our true Home. We all want to belong, to feel loved, to be happy and to enjoy each other without restrictions in utter freedom. Yet we deny this because of our beliefs in separation. We want to create boundaries, rules, self-protection and thus self-denials and fears and for what? Look into your heart right now and ask what would be the greatest thing for you? Wouldn’t it be the freedom to love without restriction or fear of intimacy? Wouldn’t it be to feel free and open in your sincere affection for all of YOU?

Who am I?
People keep asking, “How can I change myself?” The fact is that any attempts at changing yourself will boomerang, often against you. The greatest news about positive change is to do nothing but simply to allow you the direct experience of pure being.

I make it my ‘practice’ to sit quietly doing nothing on a daily basis but just listening. I listen to the sounds around me and then gradually direct them to the body’s sensations of aliveness. I listen to what is completely present such as heart-beating, normal breathing, the feeling of my body against the chair and all the different physical feelings that make me know I have a body. This focus quiets the mind and stops thought. Then I focus my awareness in the room with eyes closed. I keep expanding this awareness until it contains the whole apartment and extending to the street, city, country, globe, orbit space and the Milky Way galaxy. I allow myself to ‘feel’ how unlimited awareness is. I keep ‘listening’ to this limitless, beginningless and endless awareness as my source. In this ‘listening’ is contained the knowing that I AM the awareness of Oneness itself. I see in this ‘feeling/listening/knowing’ that beliefs, conditioning, fears and all thoughts as just movements within awareness like clouds that block the sun’s light. They mean nothing but a passing movement. In this ‘listening’ I see clearly that I am nothing at all because I am everything! In this freedom, unencumbered by past or future, I see that I AM pure awareness experienced as Love. This is who I AM!

Dr. Frank Kinslow who has awakened to his true nature now offers quantum healing and has had great success in helping people heal and change by simply recognizing their true nature as pure awareness. In an interview he stated:

“I went into seclusion to contemplate “No-thing” or “pure awareness.” After another seven years of silence, I realized that there is Nowhere to go and Nothing to do. Everything is perfect just as it is. You see, “Nothing” doesn’t give answers, it IS the answer! Deep rest, pure awareness, deep peace – these would be other terms to describe the experience of “no-thing” or “no-thought.”

Ask yourself right now, “Who am I?” and no answer will emerge because that ‘no answer’ is the answer itself – you are pure awareness; a clearing; an open space; a pure being and yet fully cognizant of Presence as ‘I AM.’
Initially such ‘no answer’ is scary but when accepted as ‘the answer’ then we start waking up. We find there was never a ‘me’ but YOU as everything and nothing; everyone and no one. The logical mind cannot comprehend something so basic and fundamental but the heart can experience it directly.
When you ask anyone, “How do you know you exist?” they will often reply, “Of course I know because I am aware that I exist!” Yet who is being aware? And eventually you’ll discover it is the same for all 6 billion people on this earth. It is the same one pure awareness that YOU are!

Cause and Effect
Now we come to the most important secret of all and one that will blow your ego mind into the Self. This secret is so wondrous, so revolutionary and so transforming that the moment you realize it it’s awakening itself!
So what is this great revolutionary and transforming secret? It is this – you are 100% responsible for every feeling, thought, motion and experience. There is no world ‘out there’ – there is only YOU! You have to be 100% responsible because there is only YOU! Everything you see happening in the world is your responsibility because you are seeing it.
Most people act as victims of circumstances but in reality there are no victims because of one simple fact – YOU are the Cause and not the effect. You are pure awareness and the Oneness of all-that- IS!

The following is taken from the article “World’s Most Unusual Healer” by Ted Kuntz:
“Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len is a psychologist who works with individuals considered criminally insane. These are individuals deemed mentally unstable to such a degree that they are not held legally responsible for the serious crimes they commit. As a society we typically respond by locking these individuals in an institution, often for the rest of their lives.
Yet, after a few months of Dr. Len’s treatment, those individuals who had been shackled are released of their shakles. Patients who had been heavily sedated are able to go off their medications. And those who were given no chance of ever being released are freed. After four years of intervention, the ward in the state hospital where Dr.Len worked closed because so many of the patients had been released.
This is the stuff of urban legend. It seems inconceivable that even the world’s best therapist could cure the criminally insane. The most unbelievable part of the story however is that Dr. Len cures his patients without ever seeing them! Rather than offer traditional face-to-face therapy using cognitive and behavioural interventions, Dr. Len studies the inmate’s charts. He then looks within himself to see how he created the person’s illness. As Dr. Len accepts, forgives and heals himself, his patients are healed.”

Dr. Len realized that being 100% responsible means he knows there is only ‘YOU’ (One-Self) and that energy is transferred to the ones focused on. It is like calling someone on the cell phone and dialing their number to reach them specifically. They are reached directly by dialing (focusing) their signal until the radio waves reach their cell phone and they answer. This is also explained as quantum forgiveness in ‘A Course in Miracles.’
We take 100% responsibility because there is only “I AM” and so by forgiving One-Self for whatever seems to be happening ‘out there’ we imbue our auric field with so much energy that our focus becomes the signal to reach the ‘other’ part of our-Self.

‘YOU’ is all there is and there’s no one ‘out there’ but YOU. It is like when you dream at night and see others in your dream-creation, they are all emanations of and from YOU. Once you start seeing this clearly then there is transformation, healing and inner power. You take responsibility for whatever you see, feel and experience and then forgive it in you. (see WorkBook Lesson #122 of ‘A Course in Miracles” titled “Forgiveness offers everything I want.”

With our current understanding of how things are, Dr. Len’s method by taking 100% responsibility doesn’t make sense. I have had people recoil at even the thought of being responsible for another’s behavior. However, we start to understand when we allow ourselves to see the obviousness of Oneness. There is only YOU. The moment you start having a glimpse of this then you will see quickly that any other method is a waste of energy.
Our understanding of “There is only YOU” begins when we commit ourselves to see it. I use a method called ‘Supersentience’ in which pure awareness is seen to be the only reality. Once we glimpse this fact then ‘things’ will begin to happen in your life.


The Three Reminders:

1. Your true nature is Pure Awareness and it is through this truth alone that everything happens. This pure awareness also known as Holy Spirit is the Intelligence of Life. By being aware of this truth there is nothing for us to do and it will do what is best for us automatically by turning to it. What blocks us from using this power is the belief that we can control our life through the ego. In other words every time you try to be in control you are making yourself helpless leading to confusion, frustration and complexity. If you ever feel confused ask, “Am I trying to control this or trusting the Holy Spirit?”

2. What blocks us from knowing the simple truth of our nature is called ‘Unconscious Guilt.’ This unconscious guilt that eats away at us is the reason for the world’s ills. It believes it is separate from Source (Oneness, God) and thus often feels ‘not-good-enough’ creating self-sabotage, unnecessary suffering and projection of its guilt onto others. It is also known as unconscious self-hate.

3. There is only one safe and fast way to return to Source and that’s through quantum forgiveness. Quantum forgiveness means that you see everyone as yourself – whole and innocent as pure awareness.

Burt Harding
burtharding@shaw.ca

Please note: If you have read this and would like to have a direct experience of Pure Awareness through the method of Supersentience then email me for an appointment.